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PR 3 |
Carine Cats |
9 - 4 |
PR 3 UWA 9 def Carine Cats 4
After carefully studying the scorer's book I have determined that we were the UWA side... and that we beat Carine 9 - 4. How was this feat achieved, you may ask?
We initially undertook a complicated memory test. This involved asking players to turn up at the game on time (8am Sunday), and most passed this first hurdle well.
On the Sunday morning players were put through an exhausting analysis of arm, leg & brain speed whilst warming up amidst the studious eyes of the coach & scouts. These tasks initially involved carrying half the Club's physical resources across the great, green McGilivray Plain to the second distant diamond. Upon arrival at this barren spot more complicated cognitive testing was incorporated to test the mental ability of players... primarily this involved assembling and erecting shade tents!
Following this, the group were required to warm up and throw, catch & hit baseballs. Weird eh? The coach had little knowledge of the playing group and was recently considering retirement... so after warm up he resorted to reading/interpreting a nearby earthworm's entrails to determine the day's playing spots and batting line-up *.
(* Edit: It should be noted that various coaches in the Club's history have incorporate different methods for determining ideal line-ups and playing spots, and given the stress of this task none should be overly criticised for exotic or esoteric practices, including phrenology (reading the bumps on player's heads). Only the bizarre sexual practices of the coach of the B grade Whips several years ago have been outlawed, and that coach (Shanks) was sent into the wilderness to repay his many sins).
We soon realised we were playing a young, fit-looking Carine side with an ex-A or B Grade pitcher, and decided we needed something of that sort ourselves. Well we had Macca who rose to the occasion of Sean Major's 3500 th game and pitched a great game. The scorer obviously does not own a red pen, but my memory tells me there was probably not an earned run from Carine. He was ably caught by Mark Wall, with good performances in the field by all (except the coach at short stop? ...I'm not sure if that was all entrails?). Special mention and thanks to the new players: Matthew Fouhy, Tyson Maloney, Chris Chesworth, Mike Smith & Ashley Dunn. |
